Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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