New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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