Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
