Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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