The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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