He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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