Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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