listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
