All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
