k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I will be naked everywhere
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
