youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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