You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize