when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
