after a month anything with tits is on the radar
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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