So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
