Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
