is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
