i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
