you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
