So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
