I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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