69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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