You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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