What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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