You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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