i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
