Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
