Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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