from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
