I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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