The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
