i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
