The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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