When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
