yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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