the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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