I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
