He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
