idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you would pick up someone in the library
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
