Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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