We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
