We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I didn't notice because vodka
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
