even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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