I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
