Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
