She announced her abortion via fbk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
