Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
