Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
