Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
