I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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