Dual....:-)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
