id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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