Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
