marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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