the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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