It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
