You work out of a Hotel?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
