Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
