no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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