I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
