We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
