i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
