Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
