there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
